html xmlns:og='' xmlns:expr=''> Lounging at the Waldorf


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Month in Review: August

Rooftop View 

Rooftop Green

Rooftop Movie

Rooftop Dreams

Meanwhile, Here on the Ground

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Saturday, March 11, 2017

The Month in Review: July

I had some health problems in August and this project slide. But I'm better now so....

Unfiltered Gaetz Brook #1: The Morning You Couldn't Sleep 

Unfiltered Gaetz Brook #2: The Sunset You Couldn't Believe
Fire Island Walkway #1: Water

Fire Island Walkway #2: Woods

Claus Meyer Scandinavian Food Explosion #1: Smørrebrød
Claus Meyer Scandinavian Food Explosion #2: Steak

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Lounging at the Walled Off

I honestly believe that people who say they don't like Banksy are lying. I think they can't stand that he has gotten away with his cheeky anonymity all while making bigger and bigger projects. He's like one of those guys in high school who is not all that handsome or book smart or talented, but has somehow managed to get the panties off of all the rich girls and drive their cars, to boot.

Clever. Charming. Practiced. Disciplined. Is Banksy a bad boy or a "bad boy?" Are these art pieces or art pranks? Visual artists are constantly scrutinized by critics, gallerists, and institutions - the triad that makes up the deeply annoying term, "The Art World" - and of course, the public. For someone (someones?) who has been a working artist since the '90's, the she/he/it/them that is Banksy has never been held to the same level of inspection, has never had a show not sell or a career cut short because of a crap review in Art Forum or the New York Times.

This motherfucker is really getting over. Never mind, now I see exactly why people don't like him!

I happen to think he's pretty great but if the seemingly endless stream of Banksy success makes you roll your eyes, get ready to see the inside of your skull for his latest offering is a real doozy.

Welcome to The Walled Off Hotel. It's a full service hotel with a view of the wall that separates Palestine and Israel. Some rooms go for $30 and are outfitted with surplus items from the Israeli army. Other rooms feature collaborations with artists Sami Musa and Dominique Pétrin. And there is one room, the bar, that contains a player piano that is programmed to play original scores by Flea, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Hans Zimmer, and 3D from the band Massive Attack.

Care to book a room?

Monday, March 6, 2017

Power Mops

Opposition to the president they call #45 has inspired many people to get politically active. Neighbors are getting involved in local causes, writing letters, speaking out at town hall meetings. Some are even considering making a bid for public office themselves. To that end, I say to anyone looking to put themselves on the ballot, time to rethink your hair game, kid. Because Trump only had one thing over Hillary: hair. 

Need some inspiration? Here's some of the word's best governmental coiffures. Because your way to the top, starts at the top!™
™Lounging at the Waldorf, Inc.

Valentina Petrenko
Member of the Federation, Russia

I don't know what Valentina Petrenko's policies are and I don't care. Her marvelous poof looks like Frankenstein's head cross-pollinated with a pair of black lacy panties and that's good enough for me.

The scalloped edges of this sophisticated trapezoid give her the overall appearance of a canned ham dipped in caviar then run over with a car. I have no idea if that is a Russian delicacy or not but that doesn't matter. It sounds like one and the first rule of modern politics is almost being true counts, too.

Boris Johnson
Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, United Kingdom

Though difficult to tell the difference, one image is of British politician Boris Johnson and the other is the soft coral commonly known as a "sea pen." One was pulled soaking wet out of the Irish Sea and one went to Oxford. It's up to you figure out which is which.

Kim Jong-un
Chairman of the Workers' Party of Korea

If you like Lady Gaga's hair bow, you will adore Kim Jong-un's hair bow! It is similar but better because it is not a prosthetic! It's his own glorious biology! He is the supreme leader of North Korea and he - not Lady Gaga - is the most important idol to tween girls and young, male homosexuals! He even invented the words, "Yaaaas, kween!"

Instead of a food roll, delight in Kim Jong-un's hair roll! It is not food which is not necessary! If you are a citizen of North Korea and are starving, just look to the Dear Leader! The mere sight of him will sustain you! Actual food is overrated! These are terrible jokes! No one reads this blog! Please don't poison me!

Chantal Biya
First Lady, Cameroon

I believe I can fly. 

I believe I can touch the sky.

I think about it every night and day.

Spread my wings and fly away.

Yulia Tymoshenko
Former Prime Minister, Ukraine

Westeros. Middle Earth. A galaxy far, far away. The Ukraine, like many great kingdoms, has been governed by austere glances, ice cold fashion, and braids of surgical precision. This is not fiction. This is fact.

So if you are considering ruling anything from the PTA to the presidency of your co-op board, remember, your hair is your crown. It's magnificence has been placed upon your head by God. Know who you are. Now go for it.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Happy Sunday

Ingrid Bergaman 314 (The Nun) by Andy Warhol

Friday, February 24, 2017

Friday Night Videos

In 1965...
  • The first US troops arrived in Vietnam
  • Nearly 3,000 people, including Dr. King, were arrested in Selma
  • The Frankfurt Auschwitz Trials concluded with over 60 former Nazis receiving life sentences
  • Malcolm X was assassinated
  • India and Pakistan battled in Kashmir
  • The Watt Riots raged in Los Angeles
  • Hurricane Betsy killed 76 people in New Orleans
  • And this little ditty reached #13 on the pop charts! It's Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows from the movie Ski Party!
This peppy tune about finding happiness with a boy is sung by the affable Lesley Gore, closeted lesbian and secret Jew.

Which reminds me, nothing is what it seems.

Have a secret weekend!

Thursday, February 23, 2017

A Few Words About Being a Bummer

The thing about getting older is that you know more stuff. Lord knows this doesn't equate to being smarter. It's just that you've had a bunch of moments that make up your life. Multiply that by the time you've spent on this earth and, well, that's a lot of conversations, books, movies, lunches, relationships, funerals, shoes, tears, and roommates.

What no one tells you is that that unwieldy wad of personal history regularly sucks the fun out of many situations.

Take restaurants, for example. Your friends in their 20's will be raving about the world's worst taco while you're wondering, "How much is this bullshit going to cost me?" Meanwhile, they are wholeheartedly enjoying paying top dollar for a factory made tortilla wrapped around a tasteless piece of chicken. It's the bliss part of "Ignorance is bliss" and I kind of envy it. It's only a mediocre meal if you have something better to compare it to.

Even worse is music. You feel like a real jerk when someone tries to play you a song and you expose the bones in one measure. "Oh, so she tried to recreate a Cocteau Twins song because she got signed to 4AD Records? Is that what's going on here?"  

No fun. No mystery. You're a bore.

It happened again the other day when I saw these images. 

These are Lillie Eiger's backstage shots of Gareth Pugh's latest fashion show. writes, "the collection's references to Cabaret and The Night Porter easy and overt." And I'm like, dude. That's Invasion of the Bee Girls.

This exquisite piece of '70's sexploitation is about a group of ladies who, like a queen bee, makes the sweet love with a man and then he dies. It's fear of feminism at it's finest. Also, I can't even enjoy a fashion blog anymore.

I have a fear of getting older. Now I realize it's for more than one reason. I don't want to be a crank, a bummer who can't enjoy things. I think that means I have to travel more, spend more time in the unfamiliar, where I have no idea what will happen next. 

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Party Planning

When people hear the name "Joan Crawford" they think "glamorous film legend" or "abusive, alcoholic mother." But don't forget, she was frequently a celebrated hostess of flawless soirées, too!

It makes perfect sense. Many Hollywood business dealings and episodes of familial degradation take place in relaxed, social environments. Having nimbly mastered both, Crawford had plenty of advice to share or incidents to shamefully compartmentalize. Lucky for us, her immeasurable guidance has been saved for all!

So without further ado, please enjoy some rock solid party planning advice from the mood swingin' Mommie Dearest of our recurring night terrors, Miss Joan Crawford!