It's not like I meant to drop out or anything. Actually, it was fate. I went to this restaurant called The Movie Wes Anderson. The waiters were all Luke Wilson in the Royal Tenenbaums and all the waitresses were 100% Gwyneth. Fur coat, fake finger, everything. Halfway through the meal, all the Lukes gathered in the center of the restaurant, shaved their beards, cried, then crawled into a teepee.
After that, a guy with pink Hindu face powder and a scout master's uniform took over our table service. His name was Gonzalo. As he was poured our Zissouritas into a nurse's cap, he said I was lucky to see The Luke Shaving because it only happens once a month when the beards get to the right length. Later, me and Gonzalo totally hooked up.
See, that's what I'm talking about. These things keep happening to me in New York. That's why I left school. Okay, the F train. Everyone hates the F train.
It never comes! It never comes! It never comes!
But I walk down the stairs and there it is. Every. Single. Time. My roommate, Ashbieta, knows a lot about luck and fate and she won't even take the F train unless she's with me. Her grandma is part Roma which is the right way to say "gypsy." Ashbieta hooked up with Gonzalo, too. All three of us, crammed into my bed with a fondue pot full of hot cheese. Jesus. So much laundry the next day. Wes Anderson should totally do a movie about Romas.
But the thing is this, New York is like falling in my lap! I get free drinks. I get free haircuts. I get free drinks. I'm like owning it!
Example: I was on Bushwick Ave. and I saw Gonzalo having brunch with the fashion designer Millicent Peckinpaugh. I flipped him off twice because he never called me or Ashbieta! This made Peckinpaugh laugh and she immediately asked me to model in her runway show. I had to say yes. No one says no to The Peck! But here's the thing, rehearsals were 19 hour days for 17 weeks. It had something to do with the Persian calendar. So instead of finishing the semester, I committed myself to the art of living in NYC. I'm only a temping temporarily for a little bit of money which The Peck doesn't pay.
Fate. This is the order of the universe, I swear.
Whew! So now that we got all that out of the way, let me transfer your call. Oh, crap, I mean, take a message. Ms. Winters actually stepped out while I was explaining that whole thing to you.
I forgot to tell you that Min Joo's baby's name is Brandon. He's adorable. She's totally not going to circumcise him. Happy holidays!