html xmlns:og='http://ogp.me/ns#' xmlns:expr='http://www.google.com/2005/gml/expr'> Lounging at the Waldorf: The Trouble with Queens

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Monday, February 18, 2013

The Trouble with Queens

In 2011, the 23rd Street - Ely Avenue stop on the G train in Queens was renamed Court Square. This is logical since:

  1. when you come out of the station, you are in the town square where the Long Island City Courthouse is located there and 
  2. because Ely Avenue hasn't existed since the 1920's. THE 1920's!

And that, friends, is but one example of the kind of nonsense that goes on in the most unorganized borough in New York.

Last night, I took the train to the 21 Street -Van Alst stop in Queens. Like Ely Avenue, Van Alst has also not existed in 90 years. Unlike Ely, this ghost street still has it's own train stop. I came out of the station, walked down Jackson Avenue. I passed 47th Road then 48th Street then 11th Street.

Are you kidding me?

I live in Brooklyn. You know how you can tell? Because when you look at my address, it says "Brooklyn." But if I lived in Queens, it would not say Queens. It would say Forest Hills, Kew Gardens, Astoria, or Sunnyside. It might even say Flushing. Flushing! That's a verb, for god's sake, and a not a particularly pretty one.

In Queens, they not only put dashes in their addresses so they look like this: 67-07, they confuse toilet noise with names and think their neighborhoods are cities.

I don't know who is in charge of common sense in Queens, but this person needs to retire so the borough can bring in some new, organized blood. I would do it, but I'm afraid I would just set fire to entire neighborhoods (Maspeth and Middle Village, for a start). I'm sure this would make me a few (but not many) enemies. So I'll leave city planning to the city planning types. And stay in Brooklyn.




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