html xmlns:og='' xmlns:expr=''> Lounging at the Waldorf: The Water


Saturday, February 23, 2013

The Water

The waters of my new home are fantastic. This was no accident. On the contrary, it was a prerequisite.

"All waters must be marvelous!" I  said the the architect, the landscape designer, the interior designer, and God.

And so they are.

Poet's Loft on Tomales Bay, Marshall, California

Here is the view from the living room. It was here that I conceived of the Great American Novel as well as the Most Beloved Film of All Time and the Ultimate Jam. You're probably dancing to the Ultimate Jam right now. But here's the secret: it wasn't me. It was the water. All creativity comes from the water.

Aquatic Delicair II Laundry Basin

Upstairs, you will find the soft, silky waters for my delicate unmentionables. How delicate? Well, let's just say that part of the routine demands that a plump, Egyptian lady gives my undies a gentle roiling before spreading them on a bed of fresh lavender to dry en plein air. Otherwise, they pinch my parts.


Speaking of laundry, though I haven't touched it myself in years, I do feel it my duty to make sure all the products match the wood accents and tile.

House and Leisure Magazine

You know when you go to the fridge, open the door, and forget that you want to go for a dip? Ugh, I can't stand it! So, working with a dream therapist and a chakra masseur, we devised this solution. Works well. Though sometimes when I'm in the little pool I remember that I wanted a sandwich.

Lucas Allen Photography

This is the view from the dockside of the house. It's really done wonders for my core strength to have to get up from those deck chairs every now and again for another Margarita. That is if if Milagra, my Margarita lady, is on vakay. Otherwise, she brings it to me and I still stay skinny. And now you're wondering how that's possible. I'm telling you, it's the water.

Lee Ledbetter and Associates

Ah, yes. The Tub. That's what I call the water on the outside of the glass. The water inside I call The Bowl. They both provide miracles and sanity.

Finally, here's the pool. I'm not exactly sure who that woman is or what kind of drivel she is reading but she needs to get the hell out of my delusional daydream, like, now.

Poet's Loft
Aquatic Delicair
House and Leisure
Lucas Allen
Lee Ledbetter and Associates

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