Several times, the article points out the parallels between this manly brand of athletic attire and various forms of ladies' panties.
...women had been wearing spandex-based support hose for decades.
...some players had reservations about playing football in something that looked like the top half of a leotard...
But it wasn't until I read this line that I laughed out loud:
Plank called his product Under Armour, which is essentially a macho synonym for lingerie...
The woman sitting next to me turned her head at my guffaw and I felt the need to explain to her what was so funny.
"That's hilarious," she agreed. "I'm going to text that to my boyfriend."
Hold your horses, missy. It's not THAT funny.
There have been reports that social media makes people depressed. The theory is that looking at all the baby 'n vacation photos of friends (and/or "friends") causes folks to compare their existence to others'. That when held up against someone else's life, yours is rather boring or, worse, unfulfilling.
So what to do? Elevate everything to the level of tweet worthy spectacle, goddamn it! Let the world know that this is the best bagel ever! Announce that this here crack in the sidewalk represents life as we know it! When someone giggles at an article you're not even reading, Get. On. The. Phone!
Or barf it out on your blog. Choice is yours.