What no one tells you is that that unwieldy wad of personal history regularly sucks the fun out of many situations.
Take restaurants, for example. Your friends in their 20's will be raving about the world's worst taco while you're wondering, "How much is this bullshit going to cost me?" Meanwhile, they are wholeheartedly enjoying paying top dollar for a factory made tortilla wrapped around a tasteless piece of chicken. It's the bliss part of "Ignorance is bliss" and I kind of envy it. It's only a mediocre meal if you have something better to compare it to.
Even worse is music. You feel like a real jerk when someone tries to play you a song and you expose the bones in one measure. "Oh, so she tried to recreate a Cocteau Twins song because she got signed to 4AD Records? Is that what's going on here?"
No fun. No mystery. You're a bore.
It happened again the other day when I saw these images.
These are Lillie Eiger's backstage shots of Gareth Pugh's latest fashion show. Vogue.com writes, "the collection's references to Cabaret and The Night Porter easy and overt." And I'm like, dude. That's Invasion of the Bee Girls.
This exquisite piece of '70's sexploitation is about a group of ladies who, like a queen bee, makes the sweet love with a man and then he dies. It's fear of feminism at it's finest. Also, I can't even enjoy a fashion blog anymore.
I have a fear of getting older. Now I realize it's for more than one reason. I don't want to be a crank, a bummer who can't enjoy things. I think that means I have to travel more, spend more time in the unfamiliar, where I have no idea what will happen next.